Nein!

I've been obsessed with 9 since I first saw the trailer.

I even tried to pitch a feature on it, since the story behind the movie is fascinating. I mean, think about it: This nobody director (Shane Acker--no offense intended) makes a CGI short film called 9 back in 2005--it actually premiered four years ago today, at the Indianapolis International Film Festival. It gets nominated for an Oscar. Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov (two Tims, no waiting!) scoop it up and have Acker turn it into a feature-length cinematic experience with lots of famous people doing the characters' voices. How often does something like that happen?

The short is definitely worth watching; haunting and ever-so-slightly uplifting at the same time:


And now MTV's got its hands on two minutes of footage from the movie. Is it September yet?

God bless Funny or Die

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Jack Bauer...in 1066

No, seriously. From Publishers Marketplace:


"James Wilde's HEREWARD, about a medieval Jack Bauer, single-handedly beating back the enemy in this brutal novel of war and revenge set in England during the Norman Conquest: rivers run red, disease stalks the land, and ancient prophecies fall into place - it is a time of ghosts, curses, demon-dogs and angels: a time for heroes, THE DEVIL'S ARMY, and END OF DAYS."

I suddenly can't wait for Spring of 2011.

On The Half-Blood Prince

First of all, I know you just said you were streaming it, Hulu, but...some of us were watching The Office at 9 p.m. EDT, and waited until the commercial break. So, that was sort of a dick move. "WATCH IT HERE SO EXCITING ZOMG WE'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO TAKE DOWN THE 'WATCH THIS NOW' MARQUEE!" Lame.

As for the trailer itself, well:

This is going to be the most awesome movie ever since Iron Man. (I loved that movie with an unhealthy, greedy love.) While I still have a few doubts about various little things (shut up, Fairy Voldemort*), visually, it looks like it'll be fantastic. Draco looks appropriately haggard and sickly, "Groovy" Dumbledore is always awesome, and the Inferi are apparently Smeagol clones.

*I don't mean Voldemort is gay, I mean he literally behaves like a fairy, flitting about and talking in that completely unmenacing voice that completely ruins the entire experience for me. Seriously, all Ralph Fiennes had to do was talk like he did in Red Dragon or something, and it would have been great. Oh, and not move around like a mythical female bug thing. Sigh.

Don't eff with an effer, Hulu

EPIC FUCKING FAIL, HULU. WHERE IS MY TRAILER?

On Dick Armies

There really isn't anything I can add here that'll be better than this:

"The Phone"?

What the what?!

Whilst tearing through Friday Night Lights on Hulu (yeah, yeah, I know I'm late to the party, but I like doing things on my own time), these ads for MTV's new reality...thing...keep playing. Is it just me, or does this look absolutely ridiculous in a really bad way?

Shut up, MTV.