Jack Bauer...in 1066

No, seriously. From Publishers Marketplace:


"James Wilde's HEREWARD, about a medieval Jack Bauer, single-handedly beating back the enemy in this brutal novel of war and revenge set in England during the Norman Conquest: rivers run red, disease stalks the land, and ancient prophecies fall into place - it is a time of ghosts, curses, demon-dogs and angels: a time for heroes, THE DEVIL'S ARMY, and END OF DAYS."

I suddenly can't wait for Spring of 2011.

Jack Bauer Is a Farmer

No, seriously.

While perusing Variety (shut up), I noticed a quirky little story about a couple studios fighting over a Dutch show that may or may not be too similar to a German show. The Dutch one is Bauer, ledig, sucht (Farmer, Single, Looking), while the German one is Bauer sucht Frau (The Farmer Wants a Wife).

I don't really care about that potential copyright infringement or whatever. What was really cool to me--a language nerd--is that I had no idea "Bauer" meant "farmer."

Obviously, my mind immediately went to a wonderful place wherein the next (and last) season of 24 finds our intrepid hero, Jack Bauer, forced once again into hiding--this time, on a farm. The first half of the day promises to be full of action (and shirtlessness!), with wheat to be harvested, cows to be milked, and fields--both literal and figurative--to plow (oh yes, I went there)*, despite the threat of a cattle raid. Of course, Jack Bauer will fuck up those raiders single-handedly, armed only with a pitchfork.

Hear that, producers? Yeah. You're welcome.