On Creepy Demon Children

I made the mistake of watching the trailer for Orphan the other day.

This was a mistake for a couple of reasons. Now, I'm not by any means a chicken. I might wince at gore or startle easily (really, really easily), but in general I tend more towards the former response in "fight or flight."

But there is something about creepy demon girls that just gets me. The girl in The Ring? Absolutely terrified me. And I know I'm not alone in that fear, but honestly, I shouldn't have been scared at all. Her face looks like an orc's!

Samara:


An orc:


And I am certainly not afraid of orcs.

After seeing a few trailers for more Asian-based horror flicks (side note: Why are Asian horror movies so fucked up? They're the only horror movies I've seen that are actually...horrifying. Is it a culture thing? They do seem to have a penchant for creepy demon children), I tried to posit that maybe it's just the way these characters move that makes my skin continue to crawl hours after seeing whatever clip/movie they're in. They always have that weird crab-walking kid, or one that sort of awkwardly teleports, like you're playing a particularly dangerous game of "Red Light, Green Light."

But the girl (Esther) in Orphan does not move this way. And yet, I still had a dream that night in which she tried to kill me. Repeatedly.

Of course, that's not the reason I won't see this movie. It's the same demon child story as all the others, and probably not worth shelling out $12.50. Still, way to creep me right the fuck out, Warner Brothers.

P.S. Vera Farmiga? More movies about Boston mob politics, less movies about creepy demon children. I say this out of love.